Nurse: Who is this woman beside you? (points to me)

James: I don't know her name but I know she is important.

That happened several times in the hospital after he was recouping from brain surgery. now two years later, after SO MANY speech therapy appointments, a seizure in the middle of CVS, and MANY mini strokes later, we are living in our new normal and he can say my name. I have retired to take care of James fulltime and caregiver is a role I never considered for myself but I have adapted into this new position.

We started traveling again less than a month after his stroke and I have learned so much about traveling with someone who has complication from strokes (Or other disabilities). Here are some tips that I have discovered help make traveling run smoother.

1.Ask to preboard!

I was sitting explaining my woes of trying to get him on the plane and in the right seat and my friend Lois just looked at me and said "ask to preboard!" Although I get the looks because James does not have a visible disability, I started asking to preboard and told the flight attendants he needs more time to board. Our last flight was the first time that James did not need to preboard because he could follow me to our seat now (He has learned the drill) so if you need the more time then use it, it is not taking advantage if you really need it.

2.Carry the important documents yourself!

I hold all the boarding passes and I have pics of them on my phone. I also take a picture of the parking ticket and keep all of the passports myself. I know this looks weird when we go through security but I decided I did not care about how we look. I do not need him to loose anything important. We also use Tiles to track things like keys and wallets and this has been a real help.

3.A wheelchair can be a lifesaver.

Even though physically he can walk, we used the wheelchair to get off the cruise ship when we first started because he could get lost in a crowd and so this keeps James with me at all times. The cruise line will provide and push the wheelchair leaving me free to handle all the luggage. Woohoo.

4. Teach how to message on the app or find a meeting place.

When we first started cruising he could walk away on the ship and I would panic. Now we have meet up places and we message each other if we get separated. Even something as small as a bathroom break can be a nightmare if you have what I used to call "A runner." I do not know how much longer this will last but for now this is a good system.

5. Allow lots of time.

I have discovered that we just need a little more time walking through the airport (or in his case it used to be walking AWAY from me in the airport) and so I allow plenty of more time than I ever did before. I book carefully and do not have any short turn around times if I have to use a layover at all. This saves me stress and allows me to be more patient.

FOR ALL OF YOU: DON'T JUDGE!

We have had to learn that at airports and while boarding on cruise ships some people can push and shove literally. Please, I ask you to be patient with others and realize not all disabilities are visual to strangers.

It may take us a little longer to put our phone in the bag or put our shoes back on so we will try to step out of your way. However, in one way or another EVERYONE needs GRACE at some point.

Remember to Cruse with Grace!

Stephanie